My Bloggy Wog

There are moments in your life, and words that never leave. Singular meaningless moments that otherwise would be forgotten and insist on being remembered.

I lay here in my bath, cradling myself in a foetal position whilst my left breast bobs at the surface. I am warm and moist…

I am awkward and 11 years old, standing in the hallway of my new Secondary School. It is my first day and I do not know anyone. I am waiting in a queue to enter my first classroom and meet my new teacher.

I notice that I am the only girl wearing a starched cardboard-feel collar. A goofy looking girl comes up to me and tells me ‘you are so beautiful.. you’d look wonderful with a perm in your hair and pearl ear rings’. 

- - -

I am 14 and my dad accidentally walked in on me when I was masturbating in bed with a domestic implement. He didn’t see… I was under the sheets. He knew. Shame. 

I am 8 and sitting on the stone floor outside the kitchen door with my brother whilst my mum threatens to kill herself and my dad grabs the knife. Scared. 

I am 9 and sitting on the same spot whilst my Dad shouts at my brother who has been molesting my sister. I taught him about sex. Guilt. 

I am 15, attending the Xmas party of my local drama group and going out back for a fag. My dad walks out from a shadowed corner, zipping up his trousers. My dad has fucked my best friends mum in the shadowed corner, whilst still married to my Mum. Numb.

I am 14 and being driven to a dark spot near the woods after Karate class by my Karate teacher and….